Caring in a time of loss

NEW RICHMOND, Wis. — A desire to support those suffering through what may easily be the worst time of their lives propelled Rikki Van Dyk to begin volunteering as a photographer with Halos of the St. Croix Valley. Halos of the St. Croix Valley supports parents emotionally and financially who have lost a child either through miscarriage or in the first 20 years of life.

As a volunteer photographer for the organization, Van Dyk provides her services to grieving parents who have either lost a child or are soon to suffer that loss, to capture photographic memories of their cherished life.

“I just want to help the families,” Van Dyk said. “I feel honored that they trust me to let me be there at their most vulnerable time.”

Van Dyk and her husband, Chris, milk 65 cows on their St. Croix County dairy farm near New Richmond, along with their sons, Lane and Landon.

Most of the calls Van Dyk responds to are in the Twin Cities, but she said her chapter also has a team located closer to Chippewa Falls, as well as one in Rochester, Minnesota.

Serving as a Halos of St. Croix Valley photographer was not something she knew she was called to do until the opportunity presented itself.

“One day a post from Halos just popped up on Facebook,” Van Dyk said. “I started thinking about it, and I felt called to respond.”

Van Dyk applied and submitted a portfolio of photos she had taken. She was accepted into the group nearly two years ago, going on her first assignment in January 2024. Van Dyk said there really was no training.

“Nothing really prepares you to walk into that very raw, emotional situation,” Van Dyk said. “I did two shadows with another photographer; the first one was a baby in the hospital, the second was a funeral for a 9-month-old little boy.”

Van Dyk said meeting the family and taking the photographs is not the most difficult part of the process for her.

“I get nervous driving in, but once I meet the family and start taking pictures, all my thoughts are on the family, that I’m there, doing this for them,” Van Dyk said. “It’s when I come home and sit down and look at the photos to edit them, that is harder, when the emotions really hit me.”

Van Dyk tries to work with each family to capture the moment exactly as they want.

“Every family is different,” Van Dyk said. “Some families know exactly what they want; others have no idea. Some want to be a part of it, some don’t.”

Van Dyk has a routine she follows to ensure every memory is captured for the grieving family.

“I try to do pictures of the baby — their hands, their feet, all their features,” Van Dyk said. “I give every family a tiny little teddy bear, it’s only about 3 inches, so I get photos of the baby holding the teddy bear.
I try to take photos of the hospital board where they write the baby’s name, weight, height and time of birth. If the nurses haven’t already done footprints and handprints, I’ll photograph them doing those.”

Van Dyk tries to take those photos before taking photos of the family together.

“I take photos of the family holding their baby last, so that I don’t have to take the baby back for the other photos,” Van Dyk said. “I can leave them be to say their goodbyes.”

While Halos offers its services to families of children who perish up to the age of 20, most commonly Van Dyk’s assignments take her to the maternity and neonatal intensive care units at hospitals.

“The youngest age of gestation I’ve done is 16 weeks,” Van Dyk said. “It’s amazing, even that early, how developed, how beautiful those little babies are — they have fingernails and toenails. I’ve also done babies at 40 weeks and 40-plus weeks of gestation. It’s never easy; it’s always emotionally taxing to watch what these families are going through.”

Some babies Van Dyk photographs are either stillborn or have already passed away. Other times she will be present in the neonatal intensive care unit to capture goodbyes as a baby is taken off life support.

“One baby, I was present for and photographed her baptism, I was there for them as they took her off life support, all the way through until she passed away,” Van Dyk said. “I then also did her celebration of life photos.”

In addition to offering photographic services, Halos does hand and foot molds. Van Dyk has recently learned to make the molds and offers that gift to families as well. Halos of the St. Croix Valley will also pay for funeral expenses, caskets and urns, and make gowns for the deceased babies out of donated wedding dresses. Van Dyk said each year the group hosts a fundraising walk to support their cause.

In her nearly two years as a volunteer, Van Dyk has gone out on over 50 assignments.

“I know in the last year there were over 100 calls for help,” Van Dyk said. “There were only two in which no one was available to attend. Most of the calls I’ve responded to are in the Twin Cities, but I’ve gone as far as Blaine, Minnesota, and Rochester, Minnesota.”

Usually, Van Dyk and the families she works with have only one encounter in life. One family she has stayed in contact with.

“The mom found me on Facebook and asked if they could come out to the farm and see the animals,” Van Dyk said. “Her baby I photographed was her second loss.”

While the emotionally charged circumstances surrounding Van Dyk’s foray into these families’ lives can be challenging, Van Dyk said it has become something she cannot imagine not donating her time to.

“Going into the room, not knowing what to say or how the family is doing is tough, but it’s so important for these families to know someone cares,” Van Dyk said. “My photos are maybe the only pictures a family will have of the child they lost. That’s a big responsibility, but a great gift and honor.”