Jerry Nelson

The outdoor show

Spring is in the air. This brings about some unusual behavior, including those peculiar phenomena known as the outdoor shows. I say they are peculiar due to the fact that these so-called “outdoor” shows are invariably held indoors.

Radio daze

Radio has always been an integral part of farm life. Long before the advent of the so-called internet and the so-called worldwide spider domicile, our trusty radios kept us abreast of what was happening in the universe.

You’re so vain

It never fails to amaze me what people are willing to endure in the name of vanity.

Al and Lorraine

Everyone knows of at least one ideal couple. They are folks who seem to have been made for each other, a pair of people who are a perfect fit.

Personalities of pickups

It’s widely known that people tend to resemble their pets, that men often marry women who remind them of their mothers, and that women prefer men who look like Brad Pitt.

The winter doldrums

We are in the midst of the winter doldrums. That time of year when time seems to stand still.

Christmas memories

I recently heard about a farm mom who was searching for a spot in a supermarket parking lot when her preschool son uttered a profanity.

Cold, flu season

‘Tis the cold and flu season, an especially brutal double whammy that often afflicts this part of the world at this time of year. You catch the flu and mutter to yourself, “I wish I flew the coop when I had the chance.”

The witch of November

November has arrived, and winter has moved in with us Northlanders like a loutish brother-in-law who came for a weekend and stayed for six months.  

Learning new tricks

She was hanging around a dingy pawnshop when I first saw her. I’m a happily married man, but something told me I simply had to have her.

Rugby lessons from afar

My wife and I were visited by aliens a few years ago.

Laundry lore

It’s been said that a few key innovations fostered the rise of civilization. A list of such inventions invariably includes the wheel, the lever and frozen pizza.

Some dad

It’s been 40 years since my wife quietly whispered a certain little something in my ear, two tiny words that caused me to exclaim, “You’re what?”  

Preserving time

    It's the time of year when the days are growing shorter, the nights are becoming longer, and Americans are spending more and more of their time indoors, participating in their favorite pleasure-inducing activity. 

Walking in Memphis

Dixieland has always been somewhat of an enigma to me. As a kid, I viewed the South merely as the landmass which occupies the lower right-hand portion of the map, that exotic region where they grow cotton and eat gumbo.

Small-town travels

My wife and I have discovered during our forays into big cities that we don’t especially like big cities.

The ‘53 Chevy

Seeing her there at the roadside nearly caused me to lose control.

Born to be wild

The way I see it, the entire debacle was the stupid radio’s fault.  

The trail ride

    Family vacations have always been a labor of love for me.

Mystifying measurements

    Some years ago, NASA – who should consider changing its motto from “To infinity and beyond!” to “Oops!” – announced its Mars Climate Orbiter had been lost.

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