A life lost too soon

Today as I was driving to take photos for Dairy Star, I called my parents to pass the time. It was a moment of shock when my mom told me about a life-ending crash when a dairy farmer friend’s tractor was hit by a semi.

I wrote two stories at Dairy Star with CJ. He was always so cheerful and ready to visit with me. I’ve known CJ’s family my entire life and it’s impossible to think of his parents having to bury their child in his mid-20s. I cannot imagine their pain and I feel insufficient to speak of it. It feels like to say any words inevitably means the words I say will be fully inadequate.

One of the stories I wrote about CJ described how he dairy farmed alongside his parents as the next generation. He was an excited and enthusiastic young farmer, and I remember him checking in about when I was going to come out and write the story. That story was published just over a year ago. I’m glad I had the opportunity.

In the year since then, the family had taken their farm into the future, retrofitting in an updated parlor. For his parents to add losing a business partner to the grief of losing a child is pretty unthinkable.

I think about the extra chores staring at them and a parlor representing a future that doesn’t look the same. I hope in those moments they feel their community around them. I hope this column lets them know that people far and wide care.

Most days I forget that my days are numbered, but to hear of a guy a year or two older than me passing makes me pause. Most days I forget that the people I love most won’t be here forever. Most days I forget that we’re not guaranteed tomorrow.

The few times I visited with CJ, we always talked about farming. Conversations would often turn to tractors. He really liked the Allis Chalmers brand and always had a few projects going. He named one of his favorites ‘Peaches,’ a fitting name for a soft orange tractor. If he didn’t mention Allis Chalmers tractors to you, the Allis Chalmers logo tattooed on his forearm was a dead giveaway to his passion.

As I was sharing the news of the loss with my editor, Mark Klaphake, he said to me “Amy, you and I are so lucky.” He then began to list things like life, food and other essentials I take for granted.

Please don’t take life for granted today. Go hug your family. Take in the moments. As Mark said, it’s the God-given people in our lives who actually matter.

Working for Dairy Star, I care about the people I write about. Though I am atrocious with names — and even sometimes forget a face — I don’t forget your stories, and I don’t forget the kindness shown to me by so many.

Most days, I’m writing about moments of joy and accomplishment, but it’s in time of loss that my mission feels clear: to be a uniting force to mourn together as a greater community. I aim to let people know they are not alone in the pain and to remind those of us who are complacent in the beauty of our lives to sit up and take notice before it’s too late.

CJ, you will be missed.