Mother’s Day without the cows

COLOGNE, Minn. — For over 65 years, each day that dawned and set for Betty Hesse was marked by the opening and closing of the barn door as she milked the family’s herd.

This Mother’s Day, 86-year-old Betty Hesse will be observing the day without milking a cow for the first time in more than six decades, and all 33 members of her family will be getting together.

“This year, Mother’s Day will mean no hurrying, going to a nice dinner and actually having time to visit with everybody and not have to worry about getting home for chores,” Betty said. “I’m going to church and relax, then go to brunch with family.”

Betty and her two sons, Mark and Donald, milked 150 cows in a swing-10 parlor at their farm, SouthView Dairy near Cologne. Earlier this year, the Hesses decided to sell the herd. Betty and her sons milked their cows for the last time Feb. 3.

“I saw the two big trucks come down the road and without me knowing, tears just started rolling down my face,” Betty said. “I feel good that another herd came in because we had nice facilities.”

The barn sat empty for three weeks and then an extended family member, Jason Hesse, moved his 50-cow herd to the farm and started renting it from his uncles.

Typically on Mother’s Day Betty’s four children, nine grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren stop by and visit when Betty is not doing chores. As the family as grown, they have started going out to eat in between chore times to recognize their matriarch.

“I could have had the day off, but always opted to do my chores,” Betty said.

Betty’s role consisted of feeding the calves and milking the cows.

“Mom would say, ‘Good morning, babies,’ and they would look up,” Donald said. “As the calves would come to the heifer shed, I would say stuff to them and they never looked up, but when Mom would come in the shed and say something, they would come running up.”

A lot has changed over the years at SouthView Dairy since Betty and her late husband, Roman, took over from his parents.

“When we first started, we milked with cans and we would dump them into a cooler,” Betty said. “Sometimes I would have to milk by myself and those cans were heavy.”

The family upgraded to a step saver system and then to a pipeline. In 1998, the Hesses installed the parlor that is still used today.

“If we did not get the parlor system that we have now, I would not have been milking cows as long as I did,” Betty said. “That was a blessing.”

Betty and her late husband both had jobs in town, but it was Betty who was out in the barn every morning and evening for chores. Betty and Donald milked, and Roman and Mark took care of the field work.

“For more than 50 years, my biggest pride and joy has been milking alongside my mom,” Donald said. “I started milking when I was 8 years old.”

Some of the part-time help referred to Betty as Grandma, even though she was not their biological grandmother.

“I think it was out of respect that they called me Grandma,” Betty said.

Betty’s job in town was cleaning houses and she formed a bond with many of her clients. She cleaned for 40 years, retiring this past winter.

“Many of the people she cleaned house for thought of her as their mother,” Donald said.

Growing up and raising a family on the farm taught Betty values which she instilled in her children.

“Another trait that she has is being a leader,” Donald said. “She doesn’t lead by telling us what to do, she leads by doing it. She will do chores by a set schedule. You know what time it is (by) what she is doing. She will do chores and if we don’t feel like doing chores, she will just go ahead and do them and make you feel guilty for not doing them.”

With her first Mother’s Day without a barn full of cows approaching, Betty said her life has brought her fulfillment.

“The farm is a wonderful place to raise a family,” she said. “I enjoyed working with my family every day.”