The body double department of Santa's Workshop is currently seeking candidates for the position of Sadie Frericks' body double. Sadie is a mother of two, dairy farmer and writer. Sadie asked Santa for "two of me" for Christmas so that she could finish her Christmas shopping, spend more quality time with her kids and stop burning the midnight oil to get everything done. The SW listening elves deemed her request valid after hearing her sing, "All I want for Christmas is a full night's sleep" to the tune of the famous Christmas song about front teeth.

The body double will be responsible for filling in for Sadie during those times when she needs to be two places at once, when her tasks exceed the hours available and when she has migraines. You will be on-call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You will coordinate your schedule with Sadie's. You may find the hours challenging, but your work will be rewarding. Please note this is a covert position - the successful candidate must abide by Santa's Code of Secrecy.

As Sadie's double, your duties may include, but are not limited to: grocery shopping and meal preparation; diapering, dressing and bathing children; laundering, sorting and folding clothing; sweeping, vacuuming and mopping floors; dishes, dusting and general household upkeep; feeding, watering and bedding calves; milking cows; cleaning barn and other outside farmwork; maintaining computerized herd records; computerized bookkeeping; tax preparation and other inside farmwork; running errands; writing, blogging and photography; copy editing and other Dairy Star work. Some heavy lifting required.

The ideal candidate will be patient, thorough and creative; have a genuine love of children and animals; and have excellent communication, problem-solving and multi-tasking skills.

Previous experience as a teacher, maid, chef, relief milker, calf feeder or journalist is preferred. Experience operating a skid loader, barn cleaner, silo unloader and dishwasher is helpful. Familiarity with Scout, Quicken and TurboTax software is ideal.

Fluency in a second language is not necessary, but interpretation and translation of toddler dialect is required (i.e. applicant must understand that "oh-pee-meal" means "oatmeal" and "es-cue-ee-ohs" means "rescue heroes").

Applicant must also have the ability to detect the dirtying of a diaper from across the room and quickly address the situation before the squirming child elevates status to catastrophe. Applicant should also be capable of removing soiled clothing from child without smearing poop in child's hair.

Applicant should be able to judge calving progress, use a digital thermometer, prepare lump-free milk replacer and drain a hose.

Applicant should be able to turn everyday happenings into meaningful reading material suitable for the Dairy Star's subscribers.

Applicants should be approximately 5 feet 3 inches tall and wear size 8 shoes. Santa's elves will handle all other image adjustments necessary for the position.

This is a great opportunity to work in a challenging, indoor/outdoor environment characterized by non-stop action.

Salary commensurate with experience. The Santa's Workshop benefits package includes room and board, use of the Express Travel Program, all the milk you can drink and a lifetime supply of cookies. Interested persons should submit their qualifications to:

Body Double Dept.

Santa's Workshop

The North Pole

Applications will be reviewed on Dec. 23, 2009. Notification and relocation will take place on Dec. 24, 2009. Responsibilities will commence on Dec. 25, 2009.