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We keep bumping into each other. It's as if we are two strangers who meet on a crowded street; trying to figure out how to get around each other to avoid a collision. To make matters worse, we repeatedly make a move to do the same task simultaneously.

I turn to take a unit off a cow and there he is, reaching for the unit already. He grabs a dipper to prep another cow, but I'm already on it. It is difficult to do the milking with him and I think he is thinking that it is hard to do chores with me!

After all these years of working together we are finding it hard to do. And that's mainly because we aren't doing the same things together anymore. So, when we are together and working, we are not a smooth operation like we used to be.

We have always been a team- Kevin and me, me and Kevin. We have racked up many years of just him and me getting the chores done. Now, in order to keep the farm running AND bills paid, we find that we meet each other at the door during a "shift change" rather than going out together. I am finding it troubling and annoying.

It seems like the only time we are working together now is when we do the milking together on weekend mornings. It is odd to think that after so many years of smooth, orchestrated chore times, we are finding ourselves frustrated with working together.

I'm probably making it sound bad. It's not something that is going to tear us apart or anything like that. It is just that adjustments are needed. I will have to be more considerate and patient and he will have to communicate better. What we have taken for granted for so many years, we will now have to work at in order to complete a day without petty issues.

I am used to working with Jack in the morning and I kind of know when he's coming with the loader to feed the cows. I try to get to the gate and open it for him so he doesn't have to jump off and on. I'll stay nearby or tell Kipper to stay by the gate. Jack will need to make a second trip, so I leave the gate open.

Kevin, on the other hand, does things a little different. It never fails; when I think he is coming with the loader, he has just parked it by the grain bin. When I go to start washing units in the milk house, he is already there doing it. So, I go to feed calves.

THEN, he is back on the loader, ready to feed the cows!

Not a big deal, he says. He can get the gate himself. That's fine. But I still feel like I am not helping.

If Kevin reads this, he will say it's because I'm not home as much any more and that I don't go out at night for chores. And I will say that it is because he is gone so much because of his job. And we are both correct.

I don't know what we are going to do about our sleeping situation, though. I used to be the one chilly at night and needing the blankets while he was throwing them off. Now, I come to bed and want the window open for fresh air and he's gripping because it's going to get down to 50 degrees and we'll freeze for sure!

We've been told that a good marriage practices the old give-and-take rule:

You take the blankets and I'll take the fresh air---and frost bite.

You clean the milkers and I'll feed the calves-after we feed the cows.[[In-content Ad]]

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